One person alone

                                lights  the  dark with the blaze of  life.
                  A man and woman,
        together make of two,
an eternal flame as they co-create children of flesh, thought or spirit.
      With harmonic  union, their fusion
                ignites ice and vaporizes  stone.
                              This living energy is
                                    conceived in the hope of,
                                              born in the faith of,
                                                         grows in the love of true marriage.

        The Wedding Ceremony is the 7th chapter of the 4th edition of the book
            Love Thine Enemas & Heal Thyself
                                Dr. Jerry Glenn Knox BA, DC

"First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!" So goes the old rhyme. Marriage is the foundation of all successful societies. From the union of one man and one woman springs new life. The care and nurturing of that new life are the legal function of marriage. How well it succeeds tells how well the society that sanctions the marriage will succeed. Successful marriages  produce healthful, vibrant, purposeful youth. They produce young confident and functioning in their place in society.

Whatever else our goals, hopes and dreams in life, we all want good successful marriages. We want successful children.  We want, when we marry, a help mate. A man or woman that helps us be the best we can be, that helps us achieve our goals and dreams. How many people ever have such marriages is questionable. That needs to change.  What we propose is a new way of entering such a lifetime commitment in a way better to assure its being all that it can be. What we propose is a way of  celebrating marriage anew that will strengthen and let grow the love that should always have been part of marriage.

"First comes love."  Of all the things that can make a marriage successful, love is first. Of all the things that can make a marriage fail, first is lack of love. When considering marriage, first consider love. Do you love your partner? Are you happy when they are happy? When they smile, do you smile?  Are their life, dreams and hopes as important to you, as your own? Is supporting and being with this person the dream of your life? Or is it for convenience that you are considering marrying them? Is it that your friends are all getting married, and you want to get married too? Is it what you can get? Does he or she have money, position,  drive you crazy with passion or something else that you can tap into by marrying them?----Do you love them? On love you can build a successful marriage. Without it, maybe it will grow. Maybe it won't. If it doesn't, the marriage will wither.

When we marry in love, with a mutual love and respect for each other, it opens a door to being the best we can be. When we love our partner and in that love respect and honor their being, we can grow with them. We can become one with them. We can be united in true marriage. Such a marriage can stand up to success, failure, joy, pain and time.

We stand up and marry. Our parents, relatives and friends, dressed uncomfortably in  fancy clothes,  stand with us. Our knees quiver. We give up our independent existence for our love. Doing this publicly is a good idea.  "Then comes marriage. Then comes the baby in the baby carriage!"  Almost every bride in saying I do expects marriage to assure her being rushed to a  maternity ward on occasion.   The young lady dressed so finely in white and beaming with joy at becoming a wife, usually expects to become a mother as part of this contract. Most grooms expect to become fathers. She and he trust each other with their lives. They in marrying agree to put each other, and  the family they will create, first in their lives. From this day forth every decision, every action they take affects not only them but their family. We make publicly, and recorded this commitment in books for the benefit of that family.

Marriage has always been a brief ceremony, formal with suits & ties, fancy dresses and celebration. It has always been  done for all the world to see. In some ways it is simpler in less complex cultures. This was all that was necessary for most people a few generations ago.  90% of our ancestors were farmers. Our grandparents plowed the same fields their parents plowed and lived in the same way. My grandfathers worked in the cotton rows with their wives and children every day except Sunday. They worked long hours  and did hard labor. The wives prepared meals. After work, before nine o'clock they were in bed. They were up before dawn to start the next day.

My maternal grandfather and mother had seven children, and lived together for more than fifty years. They worked their farm as their parents worked theirs as far back in history as we have traced our lineage. When they married, they went home to live as their parents had lived before them. My grandmother prepared the meals as her mother had prepared them. My grandfather worked as his father had worked. They had babies and their family life was not much different from their neighbors, except in religious devotion. Almost everyone went to church. My grandfather had a special-made attendance pin for going fifty-five years without missing a Sunday.

Life in rural South Carolina was predictable. When they married, they knew what was in store for them.  There was no thought of sex education or thinking about sexual fulfillment. They would do what had always been done.  There was no real reason to plan or discuss what their lives would be like. They would work the land and go to the church down the road. Economics and culture did not give rural working people many options in lifestyle or family structure. They were in love, and they would live as farm people had lived in that region for a long time.

Even in this bucolic life,  needs and wants were there. They had no choice about their lives. That did not mean they wanted no choices. My grandfather was a very intelligent man with a third grade education. He had to go to work in the mill when his father died when he was nine. Although he could not go to school, he would sit with a lamp reading when he came home from work.  He loved to study history and became an expert on Pickens county and its past.  He loved architecture, and had a superb eye for structure. He got a chance to leave mill work, and apprentice as a brick layer. His work was always beautiful. The structures he built, from chimneys and well buildings to houses, always had symmetry and grace. He and my grandmother did have dreams. Those dreams were confined in a society that made them the owners of a small farm, she a mother and farm wife, and he a brick layer.

The preparation needed in the minds of these two young teenagers in love for this life was minimal. Still, in many ways they did not know each other well after fifty years of marriage. The hard work, the time in the fields, or the two hours walks to and from  work that kept them going, also kept their lives separate.

Now we have time together. We have choices. We have knowledge and information that  they never had. Only the rich,  educated or in traveling jobs ever saw any other way of life. My grand parents never left the state of South Carolina until their children were grown. They were in their 50s before they drove out of the state to Tennessee to see the son that lived the farthest from home.

Now a brief I do, doesn't prepare young  couples for the lives they may lead. Choices are more complex. There were no movies, no knowledge of the science of reproduction known to my ancestors. My grandparents believed that if a man touched a woman, she got pregnant. That was all the sex education they needed. They had a choice-- work in the mill, or work on a farm. The church down the road was Baptist, so were most of the rest of the churches in the area.

Now every ten-year-old has had sex education and understands multiple sexual issues and lifestyles. Career options and lifestyles are almost infinite. Religious options once limited to choices among closely related protestant churches for my ancestors, now encompass the full range of all world  religions. To marry and share life with another person is no longer simply a matter of wedding, having babies and living as our parents lived. To make it possible for marriages to work the bride and groom, must discuss their religions, situations, wants, desires and hopes frankly and honestly. They must agree on purposes and methods of living. They must come together regarding their paradigms of living and life. This should not be done quickly. It should not be done  haphazardly.

The two week process presented here is for our  world. The fact that my grandmother was a good cook, fertile and willing to work, was enough reason for her to be married at thirteen to a boy only a little older  that knew how to farm. In societies where there is no choice in lifestyle, no time for anything but working to survive and a uniform culture, there is no compelling reason to prepare newly weds to become a thinking, planning and unified couple capable of changing the world. Then again how do we change the world to being a better place? My father's single most used admonition to me, was to leave everything better than I found it.  Shouldn't we always prepare our children for the best possible life?  The world of my grandparents  changed, but by the time it did they were older. When their mothers and fathers stood up at their wedding, everyone knew what they would do in life, as had been done for all our history. He would work in the fields, mill or have a trade. She would have babies, cook, sew and take care of the house.

We don't live in a world like that anymore, at least, most of us don't. I am a physician. I  write, teach and live a special lifestyle.  I am a living foods vegan. That lifestyle is something that is very important to me. I am a missionary  attempting to spread a better way of living and change the world, to leave it better than I found it. Those of us that have studied this way of living and its paradigms know that more than thirty-two times as many vegans (strict vegetarians) can live in abundance on the land it requires to support one meat eater. This alone, is enough reason to make this a missionary effort. A living foods vegan world, where this lifestyle is practiced by everyone, can support tens of billions more humans in a earthly paradise by being in symbiosis with nature.

To those in possession of this knowledge, the living foods lifestyle, it   is our duty and privilege to live it and teach it.  We serve God by living in accordance with the design of life God laid down long before the first organized religion. It is a spiritual internal quest that affects and dominates our lives. We live it in the service of the good of all life on earth, as well as enhancing our own well being.

Those of us that live and breathe this life  improve our own health.   I came to this life as a health teacher in a resort. It corrected a long term heart problem that was robbing me of my strength and vigor. In youth the vegan diet is preventive of candidiasis and other diseases that can make sex painful, and ruin marriages. In age, and youth it is preventive of hardening of the arteries and other cardiovascular diseases. A particular effect of the hardening of the arteries is damage to the arteries of the heart itself,  the brain and the sexual organs.  Heart attacks are and remain the leading cause of death throughout the world. Most people  die of cardiovascular disease. Most people live out their golden years in a mental fog caused by reduced brain function caused by their diet.  Meat eaters have a far higher rate  of heart attacks and strokes than vegans. They also have hardening of the arteries supplying the sexual organs. It is usual for a living foods vegan to have more sexual ability and desire in their 50s, 60s and beyond than most meat eaters do in their 30s. This is an important factor in marriage. How many marriages, deteriorate because of conditions causing painful sex,  impotence or lack of sexual interest? The way of life I live and teach prevents many of these problems.

A wife that prepares food, has babies and  does house work would be pleasant. These things are important to me. There is much more to it to be my mate. Can a marriage succeed if there is less than a common valuing of the paradigms around which I build my life? I don't see how it could! My world  is not 90% cotton farmers. I don't and won't eat a Standard American Diet. I have taken the time, resources and education to seek to serve higher purposes and seek to serve those purposes with my wife. Any good marriage must have this same base. My grandparents also sought to serve a higher purpose. His father died when he was nine years old. This forced him to drop out of school in the third grade and go to work a cotton mill. He appeared in overalls and work clothes every day of his working life. By candle light at night after he had walked two hours to get home from the mill he studied.  He became  an educated man. It is because of this man that all but one of my uncles graduated from high school in a time and place that this was uncommon. My mother and two of her brothers graduated from college, one is an optometrist. All of his grand children have graduated from college.  He never got out of the red clay  fields of South Carolina himself. His family did. My grandfather and my grandmother together changed the world for all their descendants and those they influenced.

The one son that did not graduate from high school went on to be a plant superintendent and succeeded in life as his father had done, by self educating himself. Had he had a formal education I don't know what he would have accomplished. I do know that from growing up in the Appalachians, and having worked in the most wealthy parts of the United States, I did see a difference. In the poverty-stricken hill country, there is a common belief about marriage. That is that if two young people in love get married, their parents cut them off. My uncle did not have to drop out in his senior year. He just had to go to work because his family would not feed a married couple. In all the wealthy and successful areas I have visited, it is different. They support families for life. As I worked in my job from mansion to mansion, these luxury homes were filled with children of  parents who continued to support their children in their work and dreams after they were married. Those homes were filled with neurosurgeons and other professionals that obtained their degrees and began earning money long after marrying and starting their families. The notion of pushing children out of the nest with no emotional or financial support the day they marry is one of the hallmarks of impoverished societies. Those things that we create, children, ideas and beliefs are not just given us for a little while. They are forever. We love and care for them. We give to them, and often never get much back. The debt owed to us for the love we give our children was paid by our parents. They will pay it back to their children. So it will be until the end of time. If the chain is broken, and we cut children off from their source, the tree of life begins to die from the roots.

Marriage is not about what you can get. It is about what you can give. For me a wife to be a wife to me, must believe and commit to working in the living foods vegan movement. This movement is about creating life, not taking it. It must permeates our whole being. How could anyone share my bed, my  being and co-create life with me and not share my purpose in living? My grandfather and mother were farmers.  They shared a common religious faith, diet and lifestyle with their community. Ninety percent of the people in their area lived and believed the same way. They believed in education, even though neither had the formal opportunity to get an education. They lived among a people and in a place that education was not valued by the vast majority of their neighbors. United in their beliefs, they made a difference.  I have dedicated my life to serve God following a special lifestyle followed by less than 2% of my nation, at this time. It will take a woman that believes in this life style and is dedicated to making a better world to make it happen with me.

I have written more about colon therapy than any other writer in recorded history. My writings are my work. How could anyone live with me in harmony and not  value in this? Her values and goals must be my values and goals, as mine must be hers. Together we are a unit moving toward creation of a living foods vegan world. We must come together in harmony and address these goals as our goals, unify and go forth.  Marrying me does not assure  the lady of my dreams financial security, an easy life or avoiding motherhood.  My grandfather's hands were hard from a lifetime of being in concrete. My grandmother's were hard from a lifetime of washing diapers and working in the fields. Our fields and concrete are only of different materials.  Our marriage, to be successful requires an in depth agreement and discussion of all these things and more.

The fourteen-day process, laid out in these pages is for people such as us. It is for people with goals, focused energies and the will and want to be more than typical bricks in the wall. It is not that being a uniform brick in the wall is bad. It is just that for me and those in my inner group, particularly my wife, and children, sharing the spiritual, mental and physical goals in life is vital.  It is not necessary that we share the same strengths and weaknesses. Frankly, it is important that we don't. My grandfather was a very intelligent man. He was never noted by anyone as being flexible in his thinking or actions.  My grandmother was a very compassionate and caring woman. It was her love that has been most remembered by the family. It was the glue of her caring that cemented his ideas into the family. Together they as one, created those values that remain of them. For us, for success, our strengths and weaknesses must compliment each other.

I have children, and want more to raise in a family united in purpose and love.  One of my sons is a tall handsome boy with wavy red hair, gray eyes and striking good looks. He looks much more like Robert Redford than his father.  This is not the trait that makes him special to me. I was a physics major in college. My son has far greater natural ability in this than I ever had. At seven  years old he was watching "Mechanical Universe," a college level physics introductory course with me. He could predict the outcome of things that I could not. He seemed to naturally understand it. I had to work at it.

At age seventeen in physics class the weak points of the wave theory of light were explained.  I was intrigued, and wanted to solve the puzzle. Einstein dreamed when he was a teenager about riding on waves of light. From this he developed his theory of light. I dreamed about particles of light. I  proposed a theory of light  based on  nuclear particle dynamics.  The truth seems to be that some of the characteristics of light are better described in particle theory.  A few years later a professor at a local university independently developed the same concept I had  as a teenager. His published work won a Nobel prize in Physics. The difference was, that at the time I was talking about particle dynamics, I lacked the intelligence, language and podium to express the ideas.

Mathematics is the language of science. I  intuitively understood part of this phenomena.  I lacked the knowledge of calculus, differential equations,  partial differential equations and quantum mechanics, theoretical physics, etc. to explain these ideas. The great physicists spout equations like the rest of us spout sentences. Even at my peak completing a college major in mathematics my math was broken English in an advance grammar class.

What I lacked in communication skills made the ideas I had in physics something that only I could see in my own mind. What I was trying to say was never recognized by anyone else and changed nothing. Unfortunately, my lack of communication skills is not limited to mathematical formulas. Throughout, my life communication of my feelings, thoughts and ideas has been difficult, and often misinterpreted.   This  lack of sharing and being able to reach others has made most of my potential breath in the wind. If others could see my meanings and ideas, my contributions  would have been larger. Had there been supporters and co-creators  what might have been, could have been. This is what happened with Einstein and others. Einstein's genius was not just that he dreamed. He could communicate and formulate his dreams. Through others his dreams became reality.

My son has had more difficulties in this area. He is diagnosed, like Einstein, as having Asberger's Syndrome. At age eight he was going to be allowed to go to one of the nations best technical universities part time to advance his math and physics skills. He  is a very special boy. His advanced maturity and innate talent in these areas was recognized.  However, my lack of communication skills combined with his mother's lack in this same area to make his difficulties  profound. His actions and inability to read others has resulted in  major problems for him.  By the time he became a teenager,  few people cared that he is gifted, and most of his teachers never knew it.   He is becoming a man that can be a great asset to the world. However his gifts are incomplete. They are only part of the equation.  Without the balance of the right mate, he will be very incomplete. He will require a mate of great patience, love and communicative skills to bring success and recognition to their lives.

He is my son in both his strengths and weaknesses. I have five children. Four are gifted. Two were accepted to college at 15 besides this son. Their communication skills are  better than their parents. I am an idea man as was Einstein. It was not through conscious thought that he came up with his world changing ideas. It was through dreams. He dreamed his theory of relativity and his theory of light before waking up and proving them in analytical form.  I wake up dreaming. I wake up knowing answers. Some of them are right. I believe that the majority of the world's population is gifted with dreams. This is how I came to understand the particle theory of light I proposed. I had set through a class on this, and woke up dreaming about particles of light the next morning.  It is likely the same way the Nobel prize winner also recognized it. Most earth changing ideas come from these unconscious or semi conscious dream states in which our spirits separate from the world and create. Some times dreams are unbridled fantasy. Sometimes they are wave or particle mechanics, neuro-chemistry or any other area of human inspiration. Geniuses are those that can communicate these ideas.  Ordinary people like myself, only dream them. Many of the insane as Vernon, that I will describe in the last chapter, dream dreams. Their dreams, like all our dreams fall into two categories. Some are revelations, real and useful, others are not. The insane don't  connect with reality, and can't tell the difference.

We all have dreams. What ever the value of the dreams I awake with, I lack the communication skills and personal organization skills that other people have. Einstein and other great dreamers have the ability to share their dreams with others.  The most important single person that should share your dreams is your mate. You have read my work. This book has been polished and rewritten more than eleven times.  Still, its concepts are often clouded in complex wording and thinking patterns. I wrote another series of books on longevity that an editor rewrote. She made them so much more clear than I ever could. There is a mission here. The union I seek will generate children that will grow in the strength of both their parents. There is a work to do that requires both  technical knowledge and communication.  I am an incomplete man. I have strengths, but also weaknesses. Without a mate that is mutually complementary not much is likely to come of the work if I alone do it. I can no more create a mental and spiritual work alone than I can create children alone. A partner in the work  is necessary. Without a co-creator, it is likely to remain as unknown as my earlier work in physics.

"Where two or more of you are gathered together in my name, I am there with you also!" It doesn't say one! All our dreams, hopes and works are as hollow as a tinkling bell without  love to empower them. The universal building block of success in any venture is a man and woman united in accomplishing it. My grandparents had a successful farm and raised a successful family. I live to  have a successful family and a successful mission  teaching the living foods lifestyle. To do this, the alliance with my female counterpart in love, faith, hope and goals, is crucial. This has not happened. Thousands of pages of texts on health care and lifestyle that we could be producing await her. She is the equal and energizing  link in the work becoming flesh.

This marriage ceremony is for anyone who has or wants a  mission in life. It requires time to build. Marriage without addressing the dreams, hopes and desires of each party is not founded on solid ground. All have dreams. All people have hopes and ideas. Life requires us to move toward our goals, or the spirit within the person slowly dies. This  requires more than knowledge. It requires love. Of all the requirements of success in life one of the greatest is  a mate that fans the flames of life's passions. One person alone  can light a  fire when fuel, air and circumstances permit.  A man and woman,  together make of two, a possible eternal flame  as they can co-create children of flesh, thought or spirit. With harmonic  union, their united power may  ignite stone and burn water. This energy  can grow from two people in love. Throughout this 14-day process, it is important to grow in love, and respect for the inner being, spirit and power that is in your spouse to be. When this marriage becomes complete, you will unite with them. Together you two will be far more than can be imagined.

The fundamental unit of society is marriage. Where this unit is two people burning together in a common cause, they can change history. In every culture, men and women marry. They are set apart and are a unit. Man and  woman unite to form something that is far more than the essence of two people.  It is something that begins with two, and grows to encompass all of life. From pairs we grow to become nations and civilizations. The mechanics and dynamics of this growth and coming together to create life should begin at birth, and be sealed within marriage.

It is not just a bond of two people that occurs at marriage. It is the bonding of all that came before them, and all that will come after them. For this reason, in this ceremony, we include a proven technique of providing the strength and power of humanity as a focalizing influence in the marriage ceremony itself. For all time, men have met together in counsel. With time this became recognized formally from huddles on football fields, to parliamentary proceedings. Less officially women met in sewing circles and ladies auxiliaries. Both are equally important.  Both come together in the marriage ceremony. The union of one man and one woman is the only combination that can create physical human life. The union of one man and one woman  also fertilizes the eggs of ideas and spiritual enlightenment. This is accomplished by the lady of the house bringing home the power of the circle of women and mating with the man of the house bringing home the power of the circle of men. These group meetings go on throughout life, either formally or informally. Lets use them with intent, and make them focus love, faith and power into the  most fundamental coming together of society, marriage.

It is important that during the   marriage ceremony, that group meetings moderated and directed  by the groom in the mens group, and the bride in the brides group  facilitate and empower the process. These meetings are  held daily. The use of support groups to facilitate and empower are very important in this process, as in all other attempts to organize and accomplish goals as described in the rest of this section. It is important to have the approval of others of like spirit.

In his ground breaking work during the 1920s, Napoleon Hill was America's premier writer on positive thinking, empowerment and success. He wrote down for the first time a dissection of this group mechanics. These principles are important in understanding and using groups to improve life. Napoleon Hill's monumental work, The Law of Success, is now only available by special order from book stores.  He studied the 500 top industrial and business leaders in America during the early 1900s. From this he synthesized traits of all these successful people.  In this book, Mr. Hill broke out fifteen different characteristics of successful people. One observation was that all the great men of industry, business and politics  used groups

He observed that no one person can create the psychic energy to make things happen alone.  Dreams come to each of us alone. Unless these dreams are shared with others, they vanish with early morning yawns. It takes others to reformulate, restate and harmonize them into being.  It is those early morning talks whispered in each others ears that are most likely to contain the stuff of dreams.  The unit we have been talking about is the marriage. It is the fundamental building block of society. Two become one. The product of that wedding of bodies creates the population of the world. Without that union, without a wife or husband, united in love and sharing each others dreams, not much can usually happen.

Napoleon was unique for his time in that he approved of divorce. He believed that to be wed to a spouse that opposed ones purpose in life was a far greater sin than divorce. He and all the successful people he studied by their living concurred. Each of them had spouses that were in unity with them. Where such unity did not occur, sometimes great works  were  done, as great fires can start from a single match, but the rewards of that work did not come to stay in homes of disunity.

Abraham Lincoln, became president, led the nation, and was a great president. He lacked the fruits of success, even though he was a skilled lawyer, and great orator. He was elected president and is considered one of our greatest presidents, yet he never lived to see or enjoy the results of his work. He had a wife that did not support his career, or dreams. Neither of them benefitted in life from these great works.

From Mr. Hills voluminous observations of leaders living the life of success he saw a reproducible  pattern. Like-minded people in association and supporting each other, draw unto themselves the success they seek. Brighter, more able or better blessed  people do not, without unity with others seeking the same goals.  From this he developed a correspondence school based on teaching others how  to succeed. His school trained thousands of people who  became millionaires, religious leaders,  statesmen, and successes in many fields.

His most successful book, Think and Grow Rich, was written while he was serving as a personal secretary to President Franklin D Roosevelt. President Roosevelt  described his wife Eleanor as his legs. He was paralyzed by polio before running for president. His wife and he were really both president. She made most of the physical appearances and was his closest ally  in all the work he did. Together they achieved the presidency. Together the lived it.  Together they enjoyed it.

This little book, despite its title,  was not about making money, even though it sold many millions of copies, to those seeking material wealth. Many of those material wealth seekers came away from Napoleon Hill's work wealthy in many other ways, as well as many who did achieved financial wealth following his teachings.  It is a book about how to think and succeed in life. He talks about spiritual, financial, marital and other forms of success. The complete work that this book was distilled from the larger book, The Law of Success, is available by special order. This book, The Law of Success is  a clear simple guideline on how to live. I would strongly recommend it as a text for the wedding course.

Napoleon Hill discovered  different levels and purposes for groups. He began to observe that wealthy powerful men surrounded themselves with other wealthy and powerful men. He observed that they took each others counsel. He observed that where there was unity of purpose within these groups that the group accumulated much more wealth than should have been done by the efforts of individual members alone. In other words the power to make money by a group of dedicated people that sets this as their primary purpose is much greater than the sum of the members of that group individually.

It is a well-understood phenomenon that when two or more people are united in purpose, that there is greater power than the sum of their individual forces. Our purpose in this article is to generate this in marriage. What we seek to accomplish with two people, the leaders of business and industry seek to accomplish with larger groups. They meet with others who are supportive of their goals and have "brain storming" meetings, or regular retreats with other great leaders, just to focus their thoughts and efforts. However, it is just not a matter of meeting with some people. It is about meeting with the right people. Teams united win. Teams disunited lose.

Then he took if further. Was this just about money? No. He observed that this team grouping and making of powerful groups were not limited to business enterprises.  Jesus, went into the desert. He prayed and fasted for forty days and nights.  He came back from that experience alone with a mission. When he came back from that experience, he was on a mountain top. He was at the peak of his enlightenment. He was ready to personally  start his mission. Did he strike out immediately for Jerusalem, the capitol, to announce and culminate his mission? No, this man, believed by the largest religion on earth, to be the Son of God, first went about organizing a core group  that shared the mission.

Over the next few months he  called twelve other men to follow him. These men were from different backgrounds and ways of life. Some apparently were friends or relatives.  Others  were not.  As to the selection of the disciples or members of a consulting group, it is important that the members share the vision, or the purpose of the moderator. Some sources say that Christ not only called the disciples, but that he required that they fast before becoming disciples. Whatever the process, we can observe that these thirteen men walked the hills of Galilee in unity. They had a common belief in their Rabbi, and his teachings. They believed in him. This united them. Over the next few years they lived together. They became one in spirit. A great multitude of people began to follow them and believe in Jesus.

When they went to Jerusalem, they did not go in unity. One broke with the group in spirit, and was still in the circle  on entering the city. He sought to make Jesus as worldly king rather than a spiritual one. Others in the group, such as Peter, wavered and seemed to lose the focus of their purpose in coming to Jerusalem.  This was not Jesus's plan. Nor was it an acceptable plan. The breech of the purpose of the group at this juncture, ended up in the death of both Jesus and Judas. It was when this group divided its unity that death came to Jesus and Judas. United they converted the countryside. Divided they had apparently  failed, until the voice of disunity was separated from the group, The disciples gathered again in unity and went out to tell the world the message of the master.  As a clear example to us, this teaches us be sure that any counsel group that we sit on or call together must share the focus and believe in the purpose of the group. It was the remainder of  this group, reunited in purpose and focus, that carried on the work after Jesus death and resurrection.

When you form any counsel group, it is very important that political correctness not be observed in these selections. As with Judas, anyone sitting in counsel, that brings to the meeting their own agenda, not in harmony with the focalizers agenda, will destroy the function of the group. It is not for debate and division that these counsels are called. Each and every member must agree with the primary directives and focus of the meeting. They are specifically for the growth and support of the lives of the betrothed during a marriage ceremony. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, former lovers etc. are not to be asked in or to accept being asked in if they are not in harmony with the purpose of the meeting. For example, the father-in-law to be that despises the thought of anyone touching his little girl, should never be asked in on meetings to discuss sexual relations of the couple. He should never be asked in period, if he has  disdain for either his child or their proposed spouse.

If you have ever been in business or politics, you know that there is no more effective way of killing any idea than to put it in a committee that is unfocused. There is on the other hand no more effective way of empowering a dream than to have it "grocked" about by a committee of supporters. In Napoleon's work, he determined that, as in many things, following Christ example seemed to work fantastically. Christ, as soon as he clarified his mission in his long fast, returned to life. He began to recruit disciples. He  picked twelve. Napoleon recommends no more than thirteen people in a counsel meeting. Put in more people and the group becomes unmanageable. Members do not have a chance to speak or contribute if there is too large a group. If the group is too small, there may not be enough input to really clarify the purpose of the meeting. Twelve called members plus one focalizing member is ideal. It seemed to have worked  for Christ.  In this as all his work we can take examples of how to function. In those focused groups that I have been a member, which were divided into working units of thirteen, seemed to be of incredible power and depth.

There are several ways of doing this. For one, in the forming of such a group, it is traditional for the bride and groom to choose brides maids and a best men.  This is symbolic. The  calling together of a core group with the purpose of solemnizing your wedding is a very important core group. The selection of brides maids and best men are life changing choices, as it is meant that they be the core group in solidifying the dreams and goals of the marriage. Their role is honored by having them dress in fancy clothes and stand with the man or woman that chose them at the dress ceremony. Their real function is to serve as counselors, in  the group meetings leading up to the marriage celebration.

In selecting a group to work as counsel,  choose those people that are skilled and at one with  the purpose of the meeting. Those that are trusted as friends or mentors are of course to be considered. So in choosing a counsel of twelve, pick some experts, and some friends or family that are SUPPORTIVE of your purpose. For example, if this ceremony is carried on at a center, the center should provide a board of marriage counselors, ministers, rabbis, priests, psychologists, sex counselors, massage therapists,  etc. that all work there because they believe in helping others have the best marriages possible. The bride and groom on meeting with these people may elect to ask any of these people into any individual meeting. It is their meeting, and it should be their decision whom to ask. On being asked each member may decline or accept, as the spirit guides.

A note here, it is as the couple directs.  Each has their own meeting group.  Two separate meetings, a men's meeting and a women's meeting are in order. The bride selects her group. The groom selects his.  These are the two circles of power, as noted by Napoleon Hill, women do not meet in the men's circle. Men do not meet in the women's group. Both are mutual and exclusive. There is a different spin to the energy.  When a woman or man attends the opposite group, It injects the chemistry of sex. It is important that in these meetings that they be for unification, and support.  The counsels are for policy clarification and  focus. These counsel sessions  need  harmony and generate intangible results.  These groups being of same gender, are sterile in creating life.

Living results are accomplished by supporting a man and woman coming together from their respective meetings. The symbol of that coming together is the wedding kiss standing between the brides maids and best men.     A husband and wife unify power, because they are  sexual mates. When a meeting of empowerment is called, this sexual energy is vital. The coming together in marriage is the greatest creative force a man and woman have.  In love making  life is created in bare sexual embraces where life forces are shared in pelvic embraces. Above this with arms gripped around each others backs hearts beat together and thoughts harmonize. Lips beside ears can share words of life. These words begin with reaffirming love and affection. They should not end there.  Before the lovers separate to  dream together, or arise and greet the day, they should share the goals of their love, for life, for the future and for that day. It is the time to bring up common goals and loves and purposes, Bodies in complete contact, those words whispered  in each others ears tingle from toes to nose. Breathed out they fill the air. The embrace and its sharing fills life with the joy of two people in love.  As new life may begin in the womb this way. There is no reason it cannot impregnate   the mind and soul as well.

It is in the coming together of matched sexual halves that unity is reached in private and prepared to change the world with their common dreams and goals from their sexual bonds.  Units cross connected between groups undertake the empowerment of any counsel. This same potential sexual energy and the desire for it changes the mechanics in group meetings. Introduce a member of the opposite sex into an intangible meeting and competition is introduced. Men in the presence of a woman posture, trying to appear more worthy of selection than the other males. Women in the presence of a man entice, seeking to dominate the attention of the male. Either group alone and segregated by sex, tends to harmonize. Division of people by sex for accomplishing harmonizing work has been done since before recorded time. To form a marriage, in which the man and woman are selecting each other over all others of the opposite sex, nullifying this sexual rivalry is important.  Napoleon also called for this separation in all counsel meetings, as was customary until very recently.

The couple  comes together, through marriage, with  pregnant power.  The unification of the power of  women's groups, unifies with the power of  men's groups as the lovers touch and share  their private  meeting to join the group's energies. The marrying couple is the junction of power of the groups, they each take notes and take back to each other the discussions of their groups. It is with the marriage of the man and woman each being the focalizer of  separate groups of the same purpose that these groups are empowered. Napoleon Hill wrote of camping trips in which Harvey Firestone, Thomas Edison and Henry Ford, met and consulted. I don't believe he mentioned that Mrs. Firestone, Mrs. Edison and Mrs. Ford also consulted. It was later after these group meetings ended and the couples went home together that the ideas they generated became tires, electricity and cars.

The group, like the knights of the round table, sits in a circle. These meetings must always be started with invoking the Spirit of good, of God, or whatever purpose of good and worth is believed and channeled by the group. Groups must be empowered to benefit all touched and for the good of the Universe. Groups called in hate or retaliation also have power. That power destroys those that call it forth. It can do no good. An effective of sorting out  disharmony and inviting a spiritual, beneficent, harmony is to tune in to that common spirit on opening the group. It  focalizes  the beginning of each meeting. While prayer is commonly done for this purpose, and is good. In harmonizing and coming together, the making of physical contact is important. Holding hands in a circle is an almost universal way of doing this. The standard way is standing or sitting in a circle holding hands. The left palm is  up. The right palm is down. The circle is held until it "feels" right. This can be a few seconds, minutes etc.  When it "feels right"  squeeze hands and let go. Anyone, for any reason, that does not feel at harmony with the purpose of the group, should excuse themselves at any point.

The focalizer is the groom or bride, unless they delegate to another focalizer for that meeting. After tuning in, or coming together the focalizer presents the purpose of the meeting. The moderator then states the subject for the day, ads his or her comments and passes to the person on their left. Each member may speak in turn, or not speak as they feel called.  If they feel that within themselves that there is no inspiration to speak, they should not. I have been in wonderful meetings in the Quaker church, in which an entire hour passes with not one word uttered. The spiritual feeling was immense. In other meetings the speakers spoke on for more than an hour These too were wonderful meetings.

The key is to tune in. It is important to come to peace and attunement with the group as a part of beginning. It is important that each person come to the meeting with a real concern and faith in the moderator and their mission. If any person on tuning in, before or during the meeting comes to feel that they cannot support the  intentions of the moderator, they should excuse themselves, without guilt, and leave the meeting, allowing those in harmony to come to union with the bride and groom as they seek to create a spiritual, mental and physical union.

The moderator summarizes this meeting. Then they tune in with the focus that has been created, holding hands again and adjourn. The moderators then meet with each other alone, tune in holding hands, share the coming together of the thoughts of each group with each other creating a unity of the men's and women's group  through each other.

These meetings are universal in application. It does not know religious boundaries. I used Christ as an example.  As a former Baptist ministerial student with many years of studying the King James version of the Bible, this is what I know.  These procedures and concepts can be expressed in the terminology of any of the great religions, or philosophies.  Whether you are Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu or other religion, the point is that from the board  rooms of Wall Street, to the Last Supper, people have been separating themselves into small groups with a common cause to focus their energies to the accomplishment of goals. I think with my sons and daughter, or all the sons and daughters of this world, is there a more important focal event in their lives than the coming together with a mate that will share their beds, brains and lives for all their mortal existence? Should we not use these groupings used to create United States, Standard Oil and Christianity to also create  great marriages for ourselves and our children?

During this whole marriage process, every day in the early morning, the bride and groom should meet with core groups.  Their power will be more clear if done after the cleansing enemas are completed on fast days. A great deal of what will happen during the marriage will be influenced by these meetings. The spiritual part of the union should be on the first agenda. Once per day may not be enough. Meetings  should occur at least daily, perhaps one two or five times daily as the process develops.

What is offered here is a set of observations, like observing the use of birds wings to create lift. Before people understood the  concept of how air flowing over and under a wing created lift, only birds could fly. With this paradigm of thinking about flight we went from bicycle powered planes that could clear 100 yards of beach before crashing in the sand, to space craft. The time is now to change the ceremony of marriage to support life as it can and should be. Marriage has been like those movies of people running about with feathers glued to their arms flailing about trying to fly.  While they stayed on the ground and did not believe they could fly like birds, they only looked a little foolish. Some were unfortunate enough to have tried this from high perches. In a complex world, most  perches are high perches. After marrying in a brief ceremony and flapping away in a cloud of down, it is a wonder that more marriages don't end in a  pile of feathers at the bottom of tall trees. Understanding uplifting marriages as we understand flight, can make marriages that soar with the eagles.

That union, capable or creating physical life and far more is both very powerful, and very ordinary.  It is the substance of life in the eagle's nest, or the chicken's hen house.   It  is the subject of play by children.  Little kids play mommies and daddies. They fly star ships and chase chickens. They go to work with toy tool boxes and make dinner on toy ovens.  It is in this time from birth to marriage that they play act and  become what they will be. It is in this time that they learn their roles in life. Their bodies, minds and souls are not yet mature enough to be creators.  Then it is no longer play. Puberty starts. The game turns serious. They are given the power to create live.

First timid glances, then confused awkward advances cascade young people toward marriage as thoughts become deeds. Some teenagers keep all these thoughts to themselves.  My fifteen-year-old daughter, comments at least once per block, while we are driving though town, pointing out boys that she considers "hotties." If I could just get her out of the habit of reaching over and honking at them! They usually ignore us. One mooned us! A college student in puberty and the difficulty of keeping her hands off the horn are more than I anticipated at this stage in life.

It was at this point that I remembered bus loads of girls from the Catholic girl's school in my hometown, lowering the school bus windows, waving and whistling at me as I walked down the street. I was a lean, broad shouldered teenager. It doesn't seem to happen that much anymore. Having been a "hottie is a good memory!"  Momma showed me a picture of me when I was seventeen. I did not even remember looking that good! I was looking too when those bus loads of girls were whistling and swooning over me. I would have liked to have talked to at least one of them. All they ever did was whistle at me in groups from moving busses.  Before my teens  I didn't like them! Then my voice deepened. It changed.  The hormones of puberty rev up. Boys and girls that hated each other only weeks before, start acting differently.

From shy glances to collective staring and whistling the progression of sexual advances goes on to dating. Goodnight kisses on front porches go to fogged up windows in old cars. The game gets more serious. Thoughts  and the movement and steady expansion of female hips and male shoulders as the teens mature make hormones  into desire. Lust  precedes sexual love. Loving as one loves a mate comes with knowing and valuing the person in the body.  Most teens work their way through a lot of bodies before they discover there are minds and spirits in there as well.  It takes time and at least some kissing!

My mother pointed out to me once that my current girl friend at that age did not have pretty teeth. My mother had buck teeth. She paid a lot of attention to teeth.  When I was in high school, she started acting funny. For weeks she had eaten only soup and not talked much. Then she began grinning at every one. She would get right in your face and grin at you. Dad and I didn't know what was going on. We knew something was wrong with Momma. Then she broke down. She had had her front teeth taken out and replaced. Now she had straight teeth. No one had noticed! She was very upset! She still commented on every girl I dated's teeth. I asked, "She's got teeth?"  I hadn't  noticed that she had teeth. My focus was not her teeth. My teeth look as good as most movie stars, Momma made sure of that. It is not something I look at much in others.  There are other things I notice.

Sexual desire is a universal thing, that permeates all cultures and all people. The reservation of sexual relations within marriage is a universal religious law, not that this law  is always observed. It is a law. So what we do is define marriage by sexual prohibitions-- You can't have sexual relations  unless you marry her, or him! That is the law. Violate the law and you can get a nine pounds, six ounce fine that will require your personal care or making payments for eighteen to twenty-three years! OK, so you marry him or her. You have sexual relations. You wake up in the morning. What have I done!!! She looks like a medusa in hair curlers, or he snores like a hog on qualudes! Worse yet, you are married! You are stuck with each other! You have to listen to that guffawing or look at that pointed head with empty cylinders forever!!! What do you do now? Sex is a driving force behind marriage in western culture. It may or may not have anything to do with love.  It is problematic. We have a very high divorce rate in America. A truly good marriage must have more to it than sex and the baring of children.

A forced marriage based only on the results of a sexual act, where there is no real  love or respect does not makes good bonding. The physical purpose of marriage as recognized by society is already underway if pregnancy exists. The beginning of the wedding  process proposed here  is designed to start five days after the beginning of the wife to be's period. It calls for a three day and a one day fast. No fasting should be done during pregnancy.  If the bride is pregnant, the fasting portions of this melding are not to be done. A large part of what follows is to help the couple clarify the purpose of marriage and bond together in marriage on all levels. During pregnancy the focus is switched way from much that should be discussed and the marriage ceremony as described here may be best postponed until after the birth of the child.

The catholic church has a marriage encounter program to help potential mates explore more ramifications of marriage.  I haven't been to any of their meetings. I don't know if the potential brides are required to wear curlers or tape recordings of snoring sessions are played. They should require that! Other faiths also have counseling and programs to help those contemplating marriage come to look at other things, and make plans for their lives together. Marriages entered after such programs have a better chance of succeeding. These are wonderful programs. In marriage, the value of sex and sexual relations is very important and should never be underestimated. It is only one part of marriage, a very important one, but only one. Still in America a good fluid walk while sauntering down the street or aisle in church on Sunday morning is a very important asset in attracting a mate.

An Indian girl or boy has a much greater chance of keeping the mate they marry. Dressed in their sauries India girls are every bit as curvy as their western counter parts. Such curves are only false advertising. Marriages and the relations those curves bring to mind are rarely consummated based on sex appeal. Marriages are  arranged. Those arranged marriages have a much higher ratio of success, than do our romantic ones.  Sex is a given. A girl and boy married as directed by their parents, still have sex. The boy or girl usually meets their proposed mate. They almost always have some say in whether the wedding occurs. At that meeting an attractive fitting sari and the ability to perform some alluring Hindu dances, or not looking like a toad in a Nehru jacket are good ideas.  It is just that this is not likely to be the reason the parents chose the bride or groom  for their child. Parents tend to choose a mate to get something of worth for their child. A father seeks a husband for his daughter that has social position, wealth, education or other values that will make her life better. For a son, he seeks the same in his future daughter-in-law plus a dowery. So the marriages have something more substantial in their formation. The success of these marriages speaks for itself. Marriages based on a negotiated set of expectations including other things as well as  sex do work better.

Marriage usually is about what you can get from the other party. In our country it tends to be red-hot passion. In India it is a package deal. Neither is  what it should be about.  Marriage is the union of two people in love, to become one entity. That is not nearly as  often considered as it should be. When we marry we are to become one. That is what it says in the Bible.  We become one for a purpose. To define marriage as something to enter into because she has fantastic hips going down the street, or his shoulders ripple when he walks is not really very deep. To marry because she has money, a good education and there are advantages to linking to her family is less shallow. It is not very selfless. It is a given that most people marrying expect to have children and companionship. The details and thoughts of the two parties in this relation ship are not often well thought out or understood before marrying and/or having those children. Companionship in such relationships can make the road of life very lonely for both partners.

When you marry it should be for life. The mate you  say I do to, should be a person that you are willing to merge with on all levels. They are your best chance to have a true companion for life.  A true marriage, a great marriage is a marriage of two bodies-- two minds and two souls. A true marriage  has sexual desire to be part of each other, meshed in arms, legs and welded at the hip, so close that you become one skin. True marriage has heads together, eyes closed, blending into one spirit of thought,  thinking and being. A true marriage has two hearts pounding together honoring one God, one goal and/or one purpose as a guiding paradigm of living. Such a marriage not only begets children, it begets thoughts, it begets a spiritual force stronger, deeper and more lasting than the mortals who united to create it. It is the principal group, I believe, Jesus spoke of when he said, "Where two or more of you are gathered to gather, in my name, I am there with you also."  The family is intended to grow from an initial sexual attraction to mental admiration and bonding to spiritual unity and power.

What I  proposed  here, is a process. The purpose of sexual being is unification, to form that sort of marriage. It is the kind of marriage, I pray to have one day. I believe there is worth in my work, paradigms and my  relationship with God that I feel would be worth propagating. In life it is rare that any work grows in power from infertile isolation. I write best when alone. To take what is written and share it with the world takes more than just my skill and vision as a writer. It takes empowerment by others. First among those others is first and always a mate that shares the vision, and believes in the work.  Great men, and women rise to greatness holding the hand of a spouse that shares their physical love, their mental vision and their spiritual purpose. I have no such a relationship in marriage. I have not seen it that often in others.  What is missing is the deliberate attempt to create and maintain such marriages as a norm within any culture. If we have learned anything by our cultures methodical dissecting and studying of life, it is that we can understand, learn and change the unintelligent drift of life into life with purpose. We can learn, and apply what we have learned. What if we took the best of all the physical, mental and spiritual paradigms of creation, anatomy, physiology, psychology, sexology and  our religious or philosophical  backgrounds, and  instilled these into the marriage process. We can deliberately created marriages that are true unions. We can  deliberately created marriages whose purposes are to create pairs of young (or not so young) couples that are dedicated to becoming one with each other for both their own sakes and to make a better world. We can deliberately created marriages that bonded man and woman, not only physically, but also mentally and spiritually. We can. We will!

We can create such marriages. We have the tools. I for one, if I ever marry again want such a marriage. A marriage with a fertile woman, desiring to become a wife and  mother physically is important. A wife wanting to become  a  partner in the creation of a better world through thought, teaching, writing and applying the vegan, living foods health and lifestyle is even more important. The love of my life serving with me the same forces of good and God that together as we have served separately. This has to be  a central paradigm to our being. That is the sort of marriage I see for us. Am I unusual in this? I don't think so! If you ask every single man or woman this same question, how would they answer? Do you want a mate that loves you physically; that seeks to please and love you on all the levels of your being as you do them? Do you want a mate that is united with you in thinking? Do you want a mate that seeks to do what you will in all of his or her thoughts, and you do for her or him what they will? Do you want a mate that as their higher purpose serves God as you do, or is devoted to the same noble causes that you are dedicated to serve? All of us should answer yes. Most people may wonder if it is possible, but they will answer yes!

How many married people would say that is the kind of marriage they have? I don't think very many would.  If you don't but want to have a total and complete marriage, it is never too late to redo your vows. I am recommending, not just a dress up ceremony. I am recommending a life changing process.  How many  marriages can be improved? How many  marriages can be made more perfect? Every man and woman united in matrimony, that both seek to have a better marriage, and still believe in the worth of their marriage and their mates, can!

We can! We can  do it together. What this article is not about  giving all the answers. In my previous articles you have had my thoughts, based on decades of formal accredited education, decades of independent study and decades of clinical experience. I spoke and wrote as an expert, in areas in which I have answers. This time, I  have  thoughts. What I have more of is a paradigm of thinking about one of our oldest traditions. I do not have even most of the answers. I don't even have all the questions.

What we seek here, is a consensus as to what is the right and best way to become husband and wife. These are ideas to be tried, tested and modified to become something wonderful to enrich lives. I have proposed a two week wedding process. Would three weeks be better?--- one, four? In this chapter ideas of closeness are presented. I know massage, acupressure, colon cleansing, sexuality and my own faith. I talk about these. I know there are other areas to be explored and discussed. The counseling sessions,  faith,  psychology and dealing with many other issues are areas that others will have much better input than I. It is all open to input. We will rewrite this article  to perfect it. If you and others find it worthwhile, I would be pleased to expand it to a large book used in marriage centers to create a better world. It is my profound hope that this idea will reappear in many forms, and places, with new ideas and concepts, each better than the last in creating more ideal marriages, and thus a better world.

A brief ceremony in a beautiful gown, is something to be  treasured, and remembered always.  It is symbolic of one of life's best and most beautiful coming togethers.  What does it do for bringing unity in mind? What does it do to unite in creating  harmony with the bodies of the lovers? Does it do anything to unite the souls of husband and wife in common service of a greater good?  It is beautiful, and should remain as the final formal public ceremony uniting a couple. It does little to prepare the wife or husband for the life ahead.  I don't feel that marriage as practiced in most societies really addresses the wonderful life's experience that marriage can be. Marriage of a man and woman unites the physical force of two  human beings with potential into a unity capable of creating life. Properly united in all levels and with completeness, there is no force on earth more powerful than that of a family united and created by one man and one woman bonded on all planes.

To that end let's have a new marriage ceremony! Marriage is more than the saying of vows and sex. It is the coming together of two people. That does not occur in a half hour ceremony.  Without planning, education and melding of two souls it may not occur at all!  Marriage changes the lives of two people and all the lives they touch forever!    Let's change it into a commitment, a way of living and unifying that changes the world for the better, two people at a time! Let us make the ceremony of marriage something that is life changing. Let's make it something that bonds a man and a woman in a holistic union. Let's make marriage begin as it should always be. A two-week event  that melds the two choosing to wed in a physical, mental and spiritual union is better than what we have now.

A union in which the participants join together as two, gathered in the name of good or God, inviting the presence of that spirit  to come live with them and in them as part of their union is Holy. A union of a man and woman joined for any cause is powerful. If those that profess to be of God are indeed of God, it must first show in their relations to mate that shares the most intimate moments of their lives. Without this union, without this bonding and shared purpose the marriage is rudderless. It can sail, but not navigate. Even the most magnificent couple, without unity, direction and common purpose, cannot bring their ship to port. Their marriage is lost at sea.

The first unity of a young couple must be desire. Where there is no desire, there is no impetus to physical union. First, let us be clear. Sex and sexuality are of God. Within marriage sex is designed as a part of marriage. There should be no sexuality in marriage separate from spirituality. There can no spirituality separate from sexuality. Marriage between a man and woman by definition involves sex.

Marriage has always been considered a feminine institution, and is. We build the sexual aspects of marriage around the variable drive of the female, and babies. No person, man or woman, should underestimate this variable force that is designed to create children. It is also the foundation of forming a family. Families rotate around the wife's sexual cycle, just as the earth rotates around the sun. The female libido is greatest at estrus, or ovulation. This normally occurs fourteen days after the beginning of the period. For that reason we set the sexual coming together at the 14th day after the period. The ceremony begins the 5th day after the period begins so that sexual union will occur on the 14th day of the bride's cycle.

On the fifth day following the bride's period, the couple enters a retreat with feasting on fresh foods, vegetables, fruits, etc. This is a time of consciously coming together and forming the contractual part of marriage. It is a time for setting the paradigms that will chart the course for the lovers lives together. It is a time of consciously making decisions and incorporating concepts of relationships,  loving and being together. It like any initial joining is THE time to work out binding contracts involving all the personal decisions that will no longer be just the wives or husband's to make once the marriage is solemnized. From the time of the wedding on all those issues involving the family no longer are the sole responsibility or prerogative of one man or one woman. They involve the union in decision of both. The family becomes a living and breathing life form, composed of two individual life forms and God willing more little life forms with time.

This is THE time to sit down together and negotiate all the things that may be sources of disunity later. There is much more to do with the design of this part of the marriage than I have or will lay out. It is an area for continual improvement and changing as the ceremony grows, cultures and environments change.  This whole concept once accepted and in use will develop a life of its own growing with every counselor and couple joined until, basic modes of interaction and living meld into the spirit, mind and body of the ceremony.

Do both partners want a large family, or small family? Is the husband to be respected? Will the wife respect his place as the father in the home? Will the husband care for his family as a first priority in his life? These and many many other things need to be honestly discussed, prayed about and meditated on before entering the joining together process.  All these things should be addressed before the wedding sealing, and discussed in depth. It is much more difficult ten years later when the parents disagree over child care, whether the son or daughter is going to be confirmed or barmitzvahed,  having another baby or some other issue which was very predictable before the marriage. It is a time for withdrawal into seclusion for classes and counseling in which experts focalize  the couple through all these questions. It is also a time for real classes and sharing with role model couples and others  on the joys and ecstacy that true bonding of a man and woman can create throughout life.

This part of the union is very much planned and sober. The couple is in contract negotiation and conceptualizing their future life. Once there is a body of agreement satisfactory to go on, the next phase is entered. Frankly, within a culture in which this paradigm of marriage is accepted, this three day period of negotiation and discussion would be well considered to partially replace  the concept of engagement, and be the next phase following "going steady" or being in love.

It could be well considered for any couple just exploring the possibility of marriage. It could be undertaken by all considering marriage as a trial to see if there is indeed enough common ground to go on to the next step. In this role this phase could be designed as a three day, or weekend encounter, in a controlled setting, where the more personal details of the possible relationship could be postponed, until this phase were passed.  Any couple not reaching a sufficient level of continuity to go on to the following days of the marriage ceremony at any point before the vows are exchanged should be encouraged to withdraw without remorse. Even if differences occur within the honey moon period, there should be an avenue of release from the bonds without penalty. The process is to help create the in depth kind of unity that families should  start with. It builds day upon day. It is also clear that irreconcilable differences may be clarified as well.

These will be days with meetings, counseling sessions and private talks from early morning to late night.  Classes of mental, physical, and spiritual preparation for marriage  occupy all  the days of preparation for union.  The book is not closed here, and when a center, or centers are set up offering these marriage ceremonies, we expect that this little  paragraph will become a books.

Sexuality is only one of many areas that needs  to be frankly discussed during this three days. The first thing that is necessary in any successful endeavor is passion. Successful marriage requires passion. Sexual or some other passion usually precedes everything else. The first thing a married couple do is rush to a motel, hotel, spa or other secluded location to have sexual relations. Before the bride is carried over the threshold of this facility, she and he should know what is  expected.  The institution of marriage was developed in part to fulfill  sexual need. Sex is defined as acceptable within marriage and bad outside marriage. Sex itself is not defined. Everyone has  different ideas, expectations and wants about sex. Even on a sexual level the scope and breath of marriage must be defined and worked out. We start most vacations with a plan. We have some idea of where we are going. We have some idea of  how we are going to get there and what we are going to accomplish when we get there. We often start marriages with no more than thoughts of getting naked and in bed. It takes more than that to make successful families.

The practice of marriage as instituted in  religion must reach the  body, mind and soul. The current wedding ceremony just does not prepare the bride and groom for this. Marriage as it is currently sealed makes physical coupling in sex legal.  It does not even prepare those contracting in what should be a life long commitment with a firm basis for sexual bliss! During the preparation for marriage, the couple should learn the intricacies of sex, sexual function, how to please each other specifically. They should explore their own personal feelings thoughts, desires and as part of the process be able  share their most private thoughts with the person that should ever be at one with them. If they fail to understand the passions of their mate, that mate will be left either forever wanting, or seeking love. Neither state can lead to  fulfilment in marriage. They should do this first  in groups with a focalizer stimulating general discussion, providing  universal information, and guidelines for discussions.. They should share more personal information alone.

As a part of the initial negotiation phase of marriage they, in private, should honestly say what they need and want from their mate.  Frank honesty is very important and confidential at this phase. Open discussions of sexual desires are usually difficult, as each person may be communicating thoughts never verbalized to another before.  This leaves them  very vulnerable and this level of sharing should only be done with those very serious about completing their marriage..  For either party to reveal these sorts of inner feelings to anyone else, can be difficult. The information revealed as part of the initial negotiation of what their marriage is to be, can be a deal breaker, or maker. As with all details of the marriage agreement, either party has the right to withdraw if they feel strongly that they cannot be a part of their spouse to be's love life.  No one should marry another, if they do not feel that they can be intimate with them in the way they desire. Time and experience will ad to the acts that are acceptable, as it does to the acts that become less possible.

Sexual desires as described in the chapter on Sexuality, are as varied as the numbers of humans. Everyone has very typical thoughts about sex. Everyone has specific fantasies that are not typical. Everyone of normal intelligence  will have fantasies that will be embarrassing to discuss, and may or may not be something in which their mate is willing to participate. If these fantasies are fundamental to the sexuality of the person, they should be revealed in private. If they are not fundamental, they may or may not be broached in discussion. This is all discussed in depth in the sexual chapter of this book. There are many varieties of sexual intercourse. Some couples try everything. Other individuals are very straight laced and only will do some things. These are areas that must be frankly discussed and compatibility determined prior to sealing the marriage.

The oath of secrecy in this, and all the sharings of this ceremony, must be as complete as between husband and wife, whether the marriage is sealed or not. Those things shared in the sanctity of the marriage ceremony should be privileged communication and revelation of information shared within the bonds of marriage totally private. I don't know the legal status of these communications in that the consummation of legal marriage is intended to occur during the 9th day of the ceremony, however, confidentiality is certainly a moral and ethical responsibility of a spouses, or potential spouses,  communications. As well, I am sure that there are those that will object on religious grounds to an unmarried man and woman experiencing the intimacy that is included in the following days of the marriage ceremony. To solve both problems, it would be quite appropriate to have a brief civil, or religious ceremony following the decision to proceed with the marriage before the rest of the ceremony. It is the intent of the design of this ceremony to postpone sexual relations until the formal wedding ceremony five days hence. So any couple desiring to end the relationship within this time should have the opportunity to annul the ceremony without any feeling of guilt or legal responsibility to consummate the marriage.

Following this three days of focusing on the negotiation and recognizing the needs and wants of each individual in the marriage, three days of fasting and purification follow.  Preparation to fast following the three days of negotiations, is done by consuming a very healthful living food diet.

The late afternoon and evening preceding this fast the dissection and probing of deeper and more intimate layers of the relationship begin to unfold. It is on this day that the lovers make a deeper commitment of their love and intent to marry. With this they peal away  layers of separation and make more serious their intent to bond on all levels. It is from this time on that they will go deep into very personal areas. One is preparation to fast. Preparation to fast should always include cleansing enemas. Enemas should be continued daily, or more often if needed, for the duration of the fast. Classes limited to the couple on  personal  care, anatomy and physiology classes,  in which the lovers study and work with each other begin during this fast. Up to this point the ceremony has been no more intimately exposing than a long date. For these treatments and classes, more exposure and openness are required. It is the beginning of giving of the self to the other.

On the eighth day, following the beginning of the bride's period,  a three-day juice fast changes the direction of the ceremony. Separation from self oriented negotiation and paradigm formation is replaced by a marriage fast. The lovers go from three days of preparing to divide the feast of life, to hunger, giving up the feast of life for each other. As their stomachs grow empty, they feel  each others hunger. Living in  the  example of Jesus and other great prophets they  clear their  minds,  bodies and souls by separating from  the material assimilation of life, to living on spirit. This prepares them for Holy union. The first three days of the marriage ceremony  are designed for the lovers to create within themselves satisfaction of the Me. (What is in it for me?) The second three days are designed for opening to the I AM. (What is in it for them?) "I Am, the way, the truth and the life. No man cometh unto the Father except through Me." This simple statement described Christ mission, teaching Christians to Love themselves first, then to focus on being a part of and benefit to others.  It describes marriage. Marriage as it is intended to be goes from selfishly seeking our own, to selflessly seeking to serve our loved ones.

All marriages  begin initially in pursuit of selfish need, followed by unselfish giving to become one with their beloved. The purpose of marriage is not for what can be gotten, but what can be given. This is  the essence of fatherly and motherly-- parental, family  love. Marriage where it occurs in youth is the coming together of a young man and a young woman. Before sexual maturity, children  live in the shadow of their parents usually taking from their parents without a great deal of giving.  A child is not usually expected to give much more than a few hugs to earn their bed and board. They take from parents, rarely giving back.  They seeking their own growth into being an adult, by the union that society has always equated with coming of age. They marry.  They seek the selfish gratification of sexual desire in marriage, and usually spend the next year trying to get their way with their new mate, as two children become two adults. They hopefully awaken one morning seeking to give rather than receive.  Once that threshold is crossed, they  no longer live selfishly.  They live for each other. They live for their children. They live for the causes they take up together. Marriages of opposite sexes are  to create new life. Some  create new life on a physical plane. Others create life  through the union of mind, or spirit. The creative part of marriage is synthesized in the fast. It is the giving that makes the difference. Taking is easy.

Massage, enemas, and dealing with the baser levels of living are part of this time of fasting. It is a  time for inner reflection  as the bride and groom enter a self reflective phase and clear themselves for melding. Massage works the body. Each spouse works, and toils to knead the muscles of the other like warm dough. The massage is a wonderful relaxing time of giving over all your stresses and aches to another gently to rub away. Being massaged is a giving over of the body to another to touch and heal with a loving touch. It is not embarrassing, nor does it take one to uncomfortable levels of dealing with Freudian repression. It is just something that every spouse should become familiar with doing. For every time of stress or strain that a couple enter, there is touch. When we are up, we need the touch of our love. When we are down, we need the touch of our love. When all the world is with us or against us, her or his touch makes it all right.  When touch goes, love goes. As a part of every marriage fortnight,  training in the delicate art of body rubbing, kneading, back scratching and just holding is essential. All of us need this. Every spouse should become spontaneous, confident and proficient in all the arts of touching their mate.

In fact as a part of marriage, the authority of the spouse should surpass all other professional forms of  care. In the Bible it says the wife should obey the husband. Most people did not use doctors in Biblical times. By custom and law, the husband was in charge. Physicians entered homes and worked at the discretion of the head of household. In that time wives' health, bodies and mind did belong to their husbands.  Obedience was expected.  However, in matters of health it was usually the wife that cared for the husband as well.  Over a very long period of time freedoms became law. Islam was the first religion to give freedom and rights to women. One thousand years later Western nations gave these freedoms and added more.  By the beginning of the 20th century most cultures recognized the right of people, both men and women, to choose their own forms of health care.

Then there were reversals. During the last century, Nazi Germany lead the way with control of families and children through the government. Other Western nations followed suit reaching into the family to take control away from mothers and fathers and place it within political bureaucrats' hands. This is a  great leap backward!  In our society physicians and government have entered the home in ways unacceptable to the scriptures of all major religions. Families need to be sovereign in the care of family members. Each adult by law needs to be in charge of their own health and family members entrusted to their care. If they are not able to do that, that authority should pass to their spouse, significant other, or approved guardian.

In England, as will be covered in the last chapter, common law  covers medical practice. In England, everyone is free to contract with any other person for personal care. They allow no statute or law to interfere with this basic human freedom. There is no practice of medicine without a license there. There is complete freedom of choice in health care. This same law failed to be included in the American Bill of Rights by one vote. We do not have this freedom to choose any  health care provider to care for us in America. The laws are worse in France and other countries.

However, as part of the marriage contract, two become as one. While national or state laws may restrict the actions and scopes of practice of health care professionals selling their services, no law restricting the care of spouses in simple basic health care is enforceable. What people do in the privacy of their own homes is, and should be very much their business. During the early 1990s a California state house representative tried to get a bill passed making the giving of an enema a felony. She failed very dramatically, and was subsequently voted out of office even though the medical association donated nearly a million dollars to her campaign. In the home, the care of self, spouses, and minor children, is or should be protected by civil law as it is in England. It is still protected by thousands of years of custom and religious law.

No doctor or government official ever cares for a wife, husband or child as that person's family cares for them. We need laws protecting families from interference with family life and health by outside professionals or officials. It is also important that whenever possible the care of spouses and children should be done by those that love them. Professionals should be counselors, not rulers. When they need a massage or enema, the spouse or parent should do it. When a baby is delivered, the father should be not only the coach, but the midwife. This does not mean that a father that passes out at the sight of blood should do this, or that the wife is required to do every home treatment.  When  it is possible care  should be given by family members. Medical doctors, chiropractors, nurses and other professionals should be used when we need their knowledge and skill. They should never displace the right and need of loved ones to care for their beloved in every way possible.

Part of this marriage ceremony is the massaging and caring for intimate needs of each other. Each spouse on being massaged by their betrothed, relaxes and feels unconditionally loved. Besides learning to massage each other, they wash, enema and purify each other to a state of cleanliness and purity in preparation of for the sacred event, the public solemnization  of their  marriage. During these days no sexual relation between the unwed couple is allowed. They are kept in a group setting with facilitators working with them most of the time. The exception is  in physical care. The physical care of the couple during the fast, in which the parents generally care for their children, should be shared with their wife or husband to be. Physical care of spouses should be primarily the role of the person themselves. Second only to this is the care of their spouse. Enemas, massages and physical care shall be given by the spouse to be, with the assistance of a nurse, parent  or massage therapist as needed to learn the procedures.

In part of some religions traditions, they wash the spouses as preparation of the wedding. It is usually a Rabbi that does this. I think it is the place of the spouse. Taking showers together is wonderful. Being washed and washing your beloved is very intimate, and purifying. It is something that lovers should do for each other. There are reams of home remedies, acupressure,  poultices, packs, etc., that can be done by spouses. Home remedies requiring help should fall on the spouse to care for their beloved. In addition, as part of the marriage ceremony it would be good if the spouses feed each other. These forms of care are wonderful, soothing, nurturing and though exposing, they are mutually exposing and non threatening.

Enemas are different.  Enemas are always important when fasting.  They remove toxins released as a part of living. During the fast there is an increase in the release of toxins from the fat and body. However, the usual roughage passing through the colon to remove much of this toxic material is missing. Without the enemas, toxic headaches and recirculation of toxic waste through the body occurs. This can undo much of the health reasons for performing the fast. Enemas or colonics are essential to facilitate the elimination of waste during fasts. They  purge  colons, reduce the stress and irritability usual with fasting and instill a sense of euphoria and well being.  Done together they prepare the digestive tracts of the pair to live as one.

Enemas reach deep into the psychology of the receiver. All of us are potty trained, and diverted from the free exercise of our bowels in  every society. This makes any treatment to do with the bowels psychologically challenging. We described this in detail in the chapter on the Psychology of Enemas in this book. When we are massaged, fed or washed we feel loved. We take the treatment as a child but it is unlikely that we will feel totally childlike being cared for in this way.  These treatments just make us relax and feel loved. The enema exposes the most private and protected psychological area of the body. With a properly given enema, we take hold of warm water until we cannot hold more.   Each mate on working to get their cecum fully filled by their mate, becomes a little child for that moment. They give up control of this most private function. They  totally entrust the man or woman that will share the rest of their lives. To work with each other to the point of what would be the most embarrassing accident of childhood--- losing control of the bowels, opens communication that might otherwise never be reached.

The enema is not a painful treatment. When properly done, it is not uncomfortable at all. It feels good physically. Please refer to the first chapter in the book, Enema Procedures, for directions on doing enemas. The only area of this that we might experience negatively is that it takes us back to potty training. We become two years old again, trying to please mommy or daddy by holding on. When having an enema we cannot avoid being a little child cared for by another playing the  adult role. It forces us to play the child's  role. We reach Freudian levels or regression, and we bond with the giver of the treatment.

It is similar to having a baby. In talking to an older family practitioner in a small town, he shared with me that he always wanted to stay in obstetrics. The joy of birth and having babies is universal. Being part of this is truly a wonderful part of being a doctor. He mentioned something that I did not realize. He said that once you have delivered a woman of a baby, you have her. She becomes a loyal patient for life.  The act of being virtually naked, in pain, and forcing a baby out through her vagina, with his help, created a very strong doctor patient bond. Having a baby is much more invasive and unavoidable than having an enema.  The enema  psychologically has similar mechanics.

It is for this reason that I recommend the husband and wife treat each other with enemas when needed. It is for this reason that I recommend that the father be the primary care giver in childbirth when that is possible.  We should always put ourselves and our children into bonding situations with our loved ones not strangers whenever possible.  Every man and woman should learn to trust their mate with the intimate care of their bodily needs where they need help. Most people have difficulty taking an adequate enema on their own. Having a baby on your own can be done. It has risk. It is much better to have help-- both a husband that does the work, and professionals backing him up if there is a problem.

The reliance on professionals for routine care, when a spouse can do as well or better, is to miss the opportunity of bonding more deeply with the person in the world that we most need  bonding. It is also to trust a stranger with our subconscious. What a doctor tells you in labor, and what a colon therapist tells you while you are taking a good fill, bury deep into your subconscious.  These are deeply significant psychological moments. In an uplifting loving relationship, trusting your mate with these moments is better.  It is far more healthful to share them with the love of your life, than anyone else.  It is the intent of this process to make these moments expand into years of union, and trust-- of marriage!

Enemas given during the wedding fast increase the bonding of husband and wife. Solitary fasting takes the person into themselves. Fasting with their love, takes them within themselves and each other. Inner reflections become shared experiences. This lets the lovers enter each others physical experience. The enemas take them back to early childhood together. The rest of the fast blends their experience across primal life.  As stomachs rumble, they share hunger, then peace. Life dances before them.  They pass together into a place of awareness. Freed from the perpetual search for food, they drift into the infinity of life unbounded by form. They share the intimacy of being joined in that space that lies  beyond the realm of the physical body. In the ether of that unity that bonds all living things they drift hand in hand exploring inner space, as a team.

As one man and one woman becoming a unit they invite the presence of God to unite them and unite with them in these days of purification. Coming together in marriage means being one. It gives four hands to care for each body, rather than two. By coming together in this bond, each should look to the other as their primary care physician, and when told by societies physicians what is to be done, they should always, if possible, look to their spouse for approval. We should always consult our spouses in all fundamental decisions regarding all members of the family, whenever this is practical.

This procedure is to make two people one. It is to teach caring each for the other physically, mentally and spiritually. It is to give the two an intimate, physical experience involving, body contact in massaging, fasting, eating, purifying, and celebrating life and each other. The experience is designed to reach and clear  Freudian levels of repression. The  oral level:- sharing both fasting, feasting and eating together, including  feeding each other, deals with this area of fixation. The anal area:- giving each other enemas, and reaching to toddler levels of retention and expulsion issues, and each giving the other control over their bowel functions deals with this  universal area of fixation.  Lastly, the  phallic area:- massage and intimate social and physical training as part of nine days of preparation for marriage with virtually total intimacy, without  sex, defuses this area of universal insecurity. The preparation for marriage as a union of two people beyond and including all acts of intercourse is accomplished by deliberate gaining and sharing of knowledge with each other, and through the educational component of the marriage ceremony.

The desire for sexual relations should be strong and grow stronger and more clear throughout this process. The fasting usually reduces  sex drive. During this first time they are deliberately becoming intimate without consummating the sexual part of the marriage.  This short term loss of libido  makes wants more clear, and less selfish.  They are preparing to be one flesh, one mind and one soul. Long term fasting causes the complete passing of sexual desire. A three day fast,   purifies it. They will gain a deeper sense of intimacy and care for each other as sexual passion is transmuted into love. This particular period of abstinence is to give time to undo in the minds of the husband and wife any negative programing about the evil of sexual relations between them that is taught in all the dominant cultures of the world.  These days of intimate preparation also heighten intimate interest. The love of the two each day focuses more on their partner, and opens the heart to communication with them on all levels of their being.  Intercourse means communication--- that includes, talking and non verbal communication such as sex. The bond of marriage should be a man and woman completely immersed in intercourse with each other. This long, drawing together, and opening ceremony  sprouts and grows this sort of marriage. Sexual  union is delayed. This brings mental and spiritual focus into perspective and co-creation.

On the 11th day the fast is broken with a living foods vegetarian diet, which continues the cleansing effect of the juice fast, while restoring the body to its full function. Two days of full consumption will restore it before the wedding. The couple spends more time together, deepening their bonding. This is a time for formal  preparation for becoming one flesh, one mind and one soul. It is at this point, following the three-day fast, that their desire for sexual union should have opened to complete union. They can enter into a complete commitment to serve God, serve humanity and serve each other as one soul, one mind and one body. They have sat with wise counselors and have probed and questioned and guided. They have fasted and purified and went within themselves together to seek answers to those questions as well as the more important function of seeking to become one with each other in existence. This day, the 11th day, the feelings, goals, plans and paradigms of their life together are voiced.

On this day, a day of extreme mental clarity, as is usual following the breaking of a three-day fast, the lovers consummate the visions and agreements of what their lives are to be. On this day the lovers are to talk, meditate and prepare to make written agreements. They  make oral promises to each other and God,  followed with written ones in the day following to synthesize the focus and purpose of their marriage. This is a day of final decisions and agreements. They have spent three days negotiating and discussing.  They have spent three days fasting, meditating and praying. The next two days they spend joining in thought and word what will be made flesh on the 9th day of the ceremony and the 14th day of the wife's cycle. Then she is ready to become a mother.  They are ready to become a family. They are ready to become one in body, mind and spirit. It is at this point that they must look deep into each others souls and say,  to this man or woman, "I  trust you with my life,  and all that I am to be." You agree to support them as yourself, from this time forward. Husbands and wives should believe in each other and value each others being with love, as they value their own being.

On the 12th day these verbalizations and promises are written and signed as a bond of their lives. From this point on they are becoming one  in the most important way, with each other. The day of breaking the fast is day of fluid talking and thinking. Ideas will pour. Visions seen and dreamed during the fast, but lost in the mental fog of cleansing will clarify. However, making them verbal in the excitement of the day is better. The following day is a transition day. The high of the fast, and the buzz of breaking the fast fade into reality. It is a time to write down what was felt, said and thought.

On the 13th day they share a water fast, health permitting. The water fast is a fast of commitment. The water fast turns sounds in air and ink on paper into hydraulicly engraved words in stone. It is with this fast that the lovers bond with the power of God into one. It is on this day that they in private symbolically give up their own lives by giving up all sustenance for their love. The water fast is used politically to die for causes. It shows total commitment to the "cause."  It tells the world that the martyr will deliberately give up his or her life over a period of weeks for what they believe to be right.  It is symbolic in that marriage is a commitment intended to be to death over years and decades.  In doing a one day water fast, no risk of death is usual. It is symbolic. It is the private commitment to the agreements of the day before, and is a commitment for life.

On day fourteen, in the morning, they are married, at the noon they end the fast with a feast of healthy food, shared by the wedding party.  This feast celebrates life and the creation of life following the commitment unto death signified by the water fast. It is shared with those  that love these two. This ceremony shares the marriage contract and makes it binding on the couple as those who honor the lovers witness it. It is also binding on the friends, family and believers to sustain, support and release them to be husband and wife. As it is said in the Bible, a man and woman shall leave mother and father and be one flesh. From the day of the wedding the groom shall look to the wife as the mother of his home, and the wife shall look to the husband as the father of her home. To each other they shall be best friends, lovers and first counselors.

The couple withdraw to themselves for five days to share intimately all their live forces, sexual, physical, mental and spiritual. This is preferably to be done in isolation, with no distractions or social and bonding to others.  I would think that this would be best done, in a secluded isolated center. The couple should stay in privacy as much as possible with food brought in to them. Counselors and therapists should be on call for private meetings to discuss any need of feeling they may have.  Otherwise, the time should be one of solitude together to allow the glue of their preparation for this time to cement their love, excepting daily scheduled group meetings of unification.  The couple shall have five days to become one. When all else is over, when the friends have gone home, when the children grow up, when the parents and grandparents are silent in their tombs, the one that looks in your eyes with a twinkle that lets you know that they are at one with you-- that is the life mate that stays with you. Almost all the relationships we have pass away. Friends grow apart. Parents die. Children grow up and go on to lives of their own. A true marriage is one relationship that  lasts a lifetime!

It is a religious experience. The nine days of preparation are to include the positive, pure and uplifting communication that marriage is to include. Without marriage, children suffer. The long bonding process and two-week experience that this form of marriage embodies will strengthen the bond between man and woman. Our culture and, its brief exchange of vows, does not bond a man and woman as needed. From the beginning, let's take the time in wedding to make it work.  It takes more than thirteen  years to prepare boy or girl to become a wife or mother physically. We require more than twelve years of formal education to prepare our youths to enter the work force. Isn't a fourteen-day marriage ceremony reasonable?

Also there is no reason that this procedure could not be repeated monthly following the bride's period. Of  course  sexual abstinence would not be practiced,  as it was before marriage, nor are the full fasts required. This basic procedure could also be modified and adapted to follow the birth of children. Each new child should be  welcomed and bonded to  the other members of the family by a renewal of the marriage vows. The new baby joins the family with a complete and renewing of the values of love and family. The marriage ceremony could easily be modified as a renewal of vows and union as a  routine practice throughout life for special events or periodically.

I think it is particularly important to ad a celebration of "esterus" within families. This is a monthly celebration of the wife's ovulation. It is the time when her sexual drive reaches a high point and should be a private celebration within each family of feasting and gratification of physical desire, especially for the wife. This should be a formal part of the spiritual ritual of marriage, as it is renewed each month.

Any other ideas? I would be pleased to add any references to such groups or ideas as you may offer. I wrote this is a beautiful spa setting far from town, in part  with the intent of someday sharing this with my bride, in part with the hope of sharing it and having a center where marriage could be made better for others. If you know of such a place, let us know, so we can share it.

Also, this ceremony is designed for wedding a young man and woman for life, a first wedding. There is no reason why it needs to be a first wedding. In fact,  it would be good if fathers, mothers, father-in-laws, mother-in-laws, and others  sharing this experience  renew their own vows with their children, or even without children. To go to an isolated resort, or even an intercity one, and spend two weeks with the love of your life, marrying them again, and this time really marrying them is a wonderful experience. It would be wonderful to one day have groups of couples  going through this procedure, each day meeting in power to focus their marriages together.

Marriage is the fabric of human life. It clothes all cultures. It is fundamental to all religions.  A more clear  approach and refining of this most ancient of all politico-religious structures makes a new millennium of human experience.  It is the knitting of two into infinity. The bond of matrimony will  not be a binding. It will be a weaving. Two starting their lives together not just legally wed, but physically, mentally and spiritually woven into one texture will with their  embrace sew love in surrounding fabric.  Their  passions  will warm winter nights into  summer under cotton sheets and quilts stitched in  love. Love is the fabric of all things spiritual. Love is forever.

J G Knox



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